tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-264307172024-03-13T12:25:25.560-04:00MaieuticaI never give in to the temptation to be difficult just for the sake of being difficult. That would be too ridiculous. (Jacques Derrida)danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.comBlogger89125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-34819556520565199752009-05-27T18:23:00.008-04:002009-05-27T20:14:01.988-04:00Darwin and the LDS ChurchAt the request of family and friends who are too far away to meet our beautiful puppy, here are some shots of Darwin. What you hear in the background is the latest LDS General Conference. As one of my <a href="http://sciencebysteve.net/">former professors</a> at BYU would point out, Darwin and Mormonism seem to go together quite nicely. <br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dyDtP4jrdU0gROhSGNkHa1mO26kyZuXlgP_owDfmWqpZWNYKFSpysp8pgZfenirHka3mTZobGtK3gg' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzE5eliQWcm7wvE2i2HoOJyp1r-puyNtLDkoWJj6mbaUUGy08OVaDyDtMMieiK8-m0ZKUyzK_axzn8' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dyeNmOpckcy2lhkXaIb8kk9PYH1iqMPEIcXSfkX1W4AO0f2RGJt8F_oKZ5WOjHIjabqEVvFfCDfz6c' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe>danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-30712579120405249162009-04-25T11:06:00.002-04:002009-04-25T11:12:41.435-04:00I have a dream remixSince I'm the sort who compensates for my lack of good blogging ideas with amusing youtube videos, here you go. Auto-tune being used for good, not evil, for a change.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/I0F4iXEzOqY&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/I0F4iXEzOqY&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/lW6jW9y59JY&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/lW6jW9y59JY&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-89708769392973484672009-03-12T23:56:00.002-04:002009-03-12T23:59:19.864-04:00Girly Man!<object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/TtJRNyPK-lc&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/TtJRNyPK-lc&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Many many thanks to Lindsay Pallin for showing this to me.danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-12109690465234029622009-02-18T21:53:00.004-05:002009-02-18T22:23:46.483-05:00For KristenIt's our wedding anniversary today. (And it's Sean's birthday!)<br />I gave Kristen three gifts, and she gave me permission to share her favorite one with the world. Let me preface all of this with a word of caution: if you have not seen the movie <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0457510/">Nacho Libre</a>, the chances of you understanding what I have done are slim.<br /><br />Microsoft has this new experimental software called <a href="http://research.microsoft.com/en-us/um/redmond/projects/songsmith/">SongSmith</a>, and I think it is pretty sweet. You can sing into a mic and the software will detect the key you're in and generously supply you with a solid-gold karaoke backup track.<br /><br />Instead of my own voice, I injected Nacho's heart-felt ballad to Encarnacion into the SongSmith. This is what it pumped out.<br /><br />* Note: It loses the beat halfway through, but don't fret; it finds the beat again just in time.<br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dyCY85kiCtnW4l1HcKzij-TQqEi2Q3OQiirlPflDBDLzxRhqHL71uNnK-ZHXIDH_bj1j2VmgUC-Ctk' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe>danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-82773984180730424042009-02-02T10:46:00.005-05:002009-02-02T13:37:51.443-05:00Goodbye, MauriceMaurice was hit by a snow plow on Oxford street last Wednesday. His initial prognosis was negative, but not unmanageable: a broken femur. We were able to spend the weekend comforting him here at home. Today was going to be his surgery. The surgeon found that his shoulder had snapped as well, causing nerve damage and complicating Maurice's prospects for recovery. It made sense to let him go. <br /><br />We'll miss you, Maurice. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SYcYg87geaI/AAAAAAAAAg4/9ykYjsoYteQ/s1600-h/IMG_8847.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SYcYg87geaI/AAAAAAAAAg4/9ykYjsoYteQ/s400/IMG_8847.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5298230441015277986" /></a>danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-81626480262190633132009-01-18T13:07:00.004-05:002009-01-18T13:28:50.424-05:00Meet Maurice<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SXNwytMoNkI/AAAAAAAAAgs/Zb2GHcUgUvQ/s1600-h/IMG_8772.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SXNwytMoNkI/AAAAAAAAAgs/Zb2GHcUgUvQ/s400/IMG_8772.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5292698003518797378" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SXNwm1skK7I/AAAAAAAAAgk/hIO-ghoPD6U/s1600-h/IMG_8798_799_800.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 261px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SXNwm1skK7I/AAAAAAAAAgk/hIO-ghoPD6U/s400/IMG_8798_799_800.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5292697799641803698" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />We picked up Maurice (named after the french phenomenologist Maurice Merleau-Ponty) from the Michigan Weimaraner Rescue yesterday. We not only got a great dog but also went to P.F. Chang's and Wendy's. All in the same, awesome day. <br /><br />Maurice is settling into his new home and routine. He's an older fellow, between 4 and 6 years, but when you see him leaping in and out of the ample snow in our backyard it's hard to think of him as anything but a puppy. <br /><br />Many people out there (you know who you are) contributed to the Maurice fund in various ways. Thanks. And Janell, he wore his coat on the walk today and was by far the most fashionable dog in the vicinity.danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-58009832123110093172009-01-08T23:15:00.003-05:002009-01-08T23:22:36.865-05:00Goodbye, 2008<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SWbQLdHHX-I/AAAAAAAAAgM/IpuDUhfLX9k/s1600-h/FromBunkhouse%40dusk_processed_small.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SWbQLdHHX-I/AAAAAAAAAgM/IpuDUhfLX9k/s400/FromBunkhouse%40dusk_processed_small.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5289143707604836322" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Sitting on the deck of Starlodge, looking out over the hills at dusk. Hard to think of a better way to end the year.danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-12703536131792226612008-12-03T10:25:00.003-05:002008-12-03T10:34:43.474-05:00Prescription1. Stand up. <br />2. Close the door.<br />3. Turn the music up. <br />4. Strap on your fanny pack.<br />5. Lace and pump up your pumps.<br /><br />6. Get down, mon frere.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="349"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/2keyIEof038&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/2keyIEof038&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="349"></embed></object><br /><br />(thnx Meredith)danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-60727189914453201322008-11-18T13:06:00.003-05:002008-11-18T13:20:14.228-05:00How to record a pop songRecipe: Gold Record Soup<br />Serves: Millions<br /><br />Cook up a beet.<br />Add in some fresh bass.<br />Add texture with some major and minor gourds (stay away from diminished gourds). <br />Mix in a sweet mellow tea.<br />Layer some hominy over the top. <br /><br />Mix until it reaches the desired consistency. Remember that it's all a matter of taste.<br /><br />Do this over and over again until you master it. <br /><br />Now it is ready for public consumption!danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-81568453569483772482008-11-13T17:31:00.007-05:002008-11-13T21:50:53.284-05:00escapism<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SRzftBfBCMI/AAAAAAAAAZE/Kd-ulkgJPj8/s1600-h/timp.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SRzftBfBCMI/AAAAAAAAAZE/Kd-ulkgJPj8/s400/timp.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5268331628702271682" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Timp in the Fall.<br /><br />While living in Utah, I used to climb Mount Timpanogos on a regular basis. My life came close to ending more than once on the slopes of Timp (e.g. falling into a cravasse, almost sliding off a frozen waterfall, getting caught in a violent electrical storm near the peak). This only made me want to go back more and more; I wanted to conquer every inch of the mountain. I lost count after the 30th time. After a while that mountain started to feel like my friend, and I would miss it like I missed a friend. I'd miss the heavy, wet air in the Aspen Grove valley; I'd miss the refreshing break of First Falls, and how the paved trail would gradually submit to stone and root; I'd miss the dizzying cliffs looming on every side, just far enough away that smoke from the latest forest fire would collect and give the slabs and clinging pine trees a hazy sheen; I'd miss the smell of fresh peppermint and sage, the crunch of pine-needle or the clack of shale under foot; I'd miss the comfort of sitting for lunch at the old shack overlooking Emerald Lake; and I'd miss the consistent burst of freedom as I perched on the peak looking down on the flat, busy valley filled with miniature people with miniature destinations. Everything just felt bigger and more substantial up there.<br /><br />During this John Muir-ish phase of my life (I hope I hope it's not dead yet; just give me a mountain), I was a bit more prone to poetry. Recent events brought to mind one of the poems that I wrote in a fit of frustration over the fact that I always had to come back from the mountain, back to what I was trying to escape in the first place. It's a poem about trying to straddle a line. I hope it brings a needed change of tone to this blog. I don't consider myself a poet, so judge charitably if you must judge.<br /><br />sometimes I drive until there’s no more road,<br />toss the world into my briefcase, seal it up,<br />and step out of life into life where things are<br />where pines bow to sprouts in their might<br />and waterfalls don't boast to dewdrops of strength<br />and streams don't care to compare their length<br />but wind and wash and splash bubble run<br />and giggling trickle when water-time’s done<br /><br />so when I ascend in the lines laced on stone<br />to cloudrings and spires and being alone<br />on the peak in the hall of the mountain king<br />and with him behold vibrant, prolific spring,<br />I often extend with my finger and touch<br />the lip of a petal, a blossom or such,<br />when then from my finger fade flesh, blood, and bone<br />so I see as I’m seen and I know as I’m known<br />and this wildflower withdraws her disguise<br />to welcome my newly elysian eyes.<br />Blushing, she curtseys in windbending grace<br />then fades back into her floral-mask face<br />I look at my hand, I look at the tree<br />and notice that he has been studying me<br />he knows I have pierced it, the thickness of flesh,<br />if but for a moment, my self-speak is fresh<br />like something I babbled a day after birth<br />or eighty-one eons before there was earth.<br />I speak to the king who is there at my side<br />we walk in the glory of reverent earth<br />and witness her ceaseless demise and rebirth.<br /><br />I stare at my mask of the world<br />asleep in my briefcase where I left it curled<br />so foreign, so alien, dirty and cold;<br />I suppose I’ll wear it until I'm sufficiently wise<br />to live with the king in his natural land<br />while walking and touching the world with my hand.<br /><br />June 16, 2002danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-19639739703700714102008-11-11T09:56:00.005-05:002008-11-11T10:06:25.046-05:00The Family: A Proclamation to the WorldIf you are someone who believes the LDS Church acted out of hate and discrimination during the Prop 8 campaign, please set aside your emotions for a moment and consider this explanation of the LDS beliefs about marriage. It may or may not help you to see that hate or discrimination had nothing to do with it. I ask you not to read it with your own eyes, but with the eyes of someone who believes that these words were inspired by a loving Heavenly Father. You may be convinced that this small act of empathy is not one that was extended to you in the past few days, and this may be part of the source of your anger. But that is no reason for you to become the wrong that you protest. I'm not asking you to agree. I'm just asking you to see. <br />* I would be happy to have a guest post something of a similar nature that gives the LDS a chance to see the world from a different perspective. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Family: A Proclamation to the World</span><br /><br /><span class="featurestext"> We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children.<br /> <br /> All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.<br /> <br /> In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshiped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize his or her divine destiny as an heir of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.<br /> <br /> The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God's commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.<br /> <br /> We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God's eternal plan.<br /> <br /> Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. "Children are an heritage of the Lord" (<a href="http://scriptures.lds.org/ps/127/3#3" class="featureslink" target="_blank">Psalms 127:3</a>). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.<br /> <br />The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.<br /> <br /> We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.<br /> <br /> We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.</span>danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-89411734407097616382008-11-09T23:28:00.005-05:002008-11-09T23:56:10.606-05:00Proposition 8 and Same-Sex Marriage<span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Why are people so anxious to go to war? </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">So much harm has been done on both sides because of a failure to understand what Prop 8 is really about.</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">I am so deeply saddened by the events of the last few days.</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">In my honest opinion, Prop 8 never should have been proposed – and the CA Supreme Court’s </span><i style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">In Re Marriage Cases</i> decision shouldn’t have been what it was.<span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Both were rash and reactionary.</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">I don’t blame anybody for being angry about the passing of Prop 8, but I am sad that the LDS church has been targeted as a scapegoat toward which all the fury of the last days has been launched.</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </span><p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="MsoNoSpacing">There are two intertwining pictures (moral and legal) of the situation that we need to see separately before we can see the whole scene clearly.<span style=""> </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >The moral picture:</span><br /><br />The unfortunate truth is that, on a moral level, the LDS worldview is an affront to the queer worldview, and vice versa.<span style=""> </span>There doesn’t seem to be any getting around this.<span style=""> </span>We would all like to downplay this and instead emphasize the love that we have for all people regardless of their sexuality, but when you get down to brass tacks, the LDS doctrine of eternal marriage is so foundational, so central that there is no chance of changing it without entirely distorting the entire LDS worldview.<span style=""> </span>This doctrine is that marriage is a covenant between God, man, and woman.<span style=""> </span>All three elements must be there for it to work.<span style=""> </span>This covenant, if the couple is faithful to it, will extend their relationship past death and into the next life, for eternity.<span style=""> </span>And just as we are the spiritual children of God, this couple will spend the rest of eternity creating spiritual offspring and working to lift them and bring them joy.<span style=""> </span>But creating offspring requires a man and a woman.<span style=""> </span>Where do gay people fit into this picture?<span style=""> </span>They have been given a particularly difficult test, and must fight against their natural attractions, hope and work for change, and trust in God.<span style=""> </span>It isn’t a sin to be attracted to the same sex—but it is a sin to act upon this attraction.<span style=""> </span>According to the LDS worldview, what doesn’t sound fair in this life will always be weighed in the balance by God.<span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="MsoNoSpacing">The queer worldview obviously doesn’t recognize any reason to not pursue romantic relationships with those of the same sex.<span style=""> </span>There is no reason to think that gay attraction is different than straight attraction, speaking in terms of intensity, richness, and power to motivate.<span style=""> </span>The love two gay people have for each other is equally life-defining, and their commitments are just as meaningful.<span style=""> </span>These are plain facts, and most thoughtful LDS folks recognize this.<span style=""> </span>But to ask the LDS church (or any other church) to accept these facts as an argument that they should allow gays to be married within their temples and chapels would be nothing less than asking them to render their entire belief system meaningless.<span style=""> </span><br /><br />I’ve focused on the LDS as an example (since the LDS church seems to be the primary target of demonstrations lately), but much of what has been said about the LDS can be said about many other Christian religions, even if they don’t share the doctrine of eternal marriage.<span style=""> </span>There are many worldviews, most of them religious, that are simply incommensurable with the queer worldview.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="MsoNoSpacing">These are the foundations of the so-called “culture war” in its present incarnation.<span style=""> </span>Above all, it is a battle for a certain moral status.<span style=""> </span>Nobody wants to have their most precious beliefs and practices labeled as immoral.<span style=""> </span>If a gay lifestyle is moral, then it is immoral for religions to exclude them on the basis of what makes their lifestyle qualify as gay.<span style=""> </span>On the other hand, if such exclusion is moral, it is because a gay lifestyle is immoral.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="MsoNoSpacing">This leads to embarrassing and inflammatory exchanges.<span style=""> </span>A common one that I see goes as follows: A Christian strikes a simile between homosexuality and, say, pedophilia.<span style=""> </span>This is the worst possible thing to say to someone who is gay.<span style=""> </span>The Christian is clumsily trying to make the point that, according to the Christian view, a gay lifestyle is a kind of sexual sin.<span style=""> </span>Meanwhile, the gay person has just been compared to a pedophile, and can’t help but perceive the Christian as immorally intolerant.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="MsoNoSpacing">On the other hand, here is another common exchange: A gay person mocks the Christian for the outdated, unenlightened, and dangerous belief that correct standards of moral conduct come from a God.<span style=""> </span>The assumption—sometimes explicitly stated--is that the Christian cannot think independently.<span style=""> </span>Meanwhile, the Christian can’t help but find confirmation that the moral pathway the gay person has chosen is a result of self-absorption; a result of being distanced from God.<span style=""> </span>As these sorts of exchanges become more common (and they are, thanks to the ubiquity and the anonymity of the internet), the framing of the issue becomes solidified and the opposing views become mutually reinforcing.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="MsoNoSpacing">Now, some gay people will be fine with the Christian position.<span style=""> </span>They will see their orientation as just one more effect of mortality; as something that can and must be resisted; as something that can change through the power of God.<span style=""> </span>On the other hand, some Christians (gay and straight) will be fine with the queer position.<span style=""> </span>They will see no reason for gays to change, and no reason for the church to exclude gays from religious ceremonies and practices.<span style=""> </span>I feel like we need to listen closely to these people who are managing to live in both worlds.<span style=""> </span>They may have something to teach us about how to defang a discourse that is becoming increasingly militant.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="MsoNoSpacing"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >The legal picture: </span><br /><br />I’m no legal expert, but I’ve tried to study and understand the layout of the legal issues surrounding Prop 8.<span style=""> </span>This is my limited understanding of it.<span style=""> </span>Skip to the end if you just want my analysis of it.</p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family:Symbol;"><span style="">·<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->1999.<span style=""> </span>CA State Legislature enacts legislation that creates a statewide domestic partnership registry.<span style=""> </span>Domestic partners are defined as “two adults who have chosen to share one another’s lives in an intimate and committed relationship of mutual caring” (Family Code 297).<span style=""> </span>There are numerous requirements for registration: age, living situation and expenses, must be same-sex or over 62 yrs old, unrelated by blood, not married or part of a domestic partnership, etc.<span style=""> </span>This legislation grants to same-sex domestic partnerships most of the legal rights and protections enjoyed by civil marriages.<span style=""> </span>Some substantive rights (state health benefits for partners and hospital visitation rights, for example) remain only the rights of civil marriages.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family:Symbol;"><span style="">·<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->March 7, 2000.<span style=""> </span>The electorate passes Prop 22, which adds a bit of language to the California Constitution’s Family Code (section 308.5): “Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.”<span style=""> </span>Since 1992, Family Code section 300 (and prior to that, the Civil Code section 4100) has stated: “Marriage is a personal relation arising out of a civil contract between a man and a woman, to which the consent of the parties capable of making that contract is necessary. Consent alone does not constitute marriage. Consent must be followed by the issuance of a license and solemnization as authorized by this division, except as provided by Section 425 and Part 4 (commencing with Section 500).”</p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family:Symbol;"><span style="">·<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->2001, 2002.<span style=""> </span>Legislature slightly expands the rights of domestic partnerships.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family:Symbol;"><span style="">·<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->2003.<span style=""> </span>Comprehensive domestic partnership legislation with the California Domestic Partner Rights and Responsibilities Act, the provisions of which “shall be construed liberally in order to secure to eligible couples who register as domestic partners <i>the full range of legal rights, protections</i><i><span style=";font-family:";font-size:13;" > </span>and benefits, as well as all of the responsibilities, obligations, and duties to each other, to their children, to third parties and to the state, as the laws of California</i> <i>extend to and impose upon spouses.” (Italics added.) (Stats. 2003, ch. 421, § 15.)</i> .<span style=""> </span>In short, the only difference between a marriage and a domestic partnership is the name by which it is called.<span style=""> </span>(There was a lingering discrepancy in the way taxes were filed, but legislation eradicated this with an amendment in 2006.<span style=""> </span>Later, nine other legal differences—not necessarily in terms of imbalanced rights—were enumerated by the CA Supreme Court in <i style="">In Re Marriage Cases</i> (2008, pp. 42-43).<span style=""> </span>These were largely seen as technicalities by both sides of the debate.)<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family:Symbol;"><span style="">·<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->2004.<span style=""> </span>In <i style="">Lockyer v. City and County of San Francisco</i>, the CA Supreme Court decides that SF public officials acted unlawfully by issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples.<span style=""> </span>This was appealed.<span style=""> </span>The Court of Appeals upheld the decision.<span style=""> </span>This decision was challenged, bringing the case to the CA Supreme Court.</p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family:Symbol;"><span style="">·<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->2008.<span style=""> </span>In <i style="">In Re Marriage Cases</i>, the CA Supreme Court (in a 4-3 decision) rules that marriage is a fundamental right guaranteed to all citizens by the privacy, free speech, and due process clauses of the California Constitution.<span style=""> </span>To justify sidestepping the current definition of marriage (as defined in the Family Code), two steps were necessary: (1) they established precedent with <i style="">Perez v. Sharp</i>, in which the CA SC ruled that the failure to recognize interracial marriages was a breach of the constitutional right “to join in marriage with the person of one’s choice” (at the time, the CA Constitution stated that marriages of a white person “with negroes or mulattoes are declared to be illegal and void”), and (2) homosexuals seeking same-sex marriage were found to meet the requirements for quasi-suspect classification, which allowed the court <span style=""> </span>to apply the strict scrutiny standard.<span style=""> </span>This standard is applied when a category of people are deemed to be discriminated against by existing legislation.<span style=""> </span>Dissenting opinions questioned not the moral trajectory of the decision, but the judiciary propriety of it.<span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family:Symbol;"><span style="">·<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->2008.<span style=""> </span>Proposition 8 is passed by a 52% to 48% majority.<span style=""> </span>It amends the state constitution with the following language: “Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.”<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="MsoNoSpacing">The most basic summary of the situation I can muster is this: the California Supreme Court entered the fray of the culture war by granting same-sex couples the right to marry because of the validation and sense of approval that it would bring to the union of same-sex couples. Proposition 8 is largely (but not entirely) a response by the other side of the culture war to deny that affirmation. It is also a response to what many perceive as judicial activism on the part of the CA Supreme Court.</p><p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="MsoNoSpacing">Now, my personal view: In light of the fact that the most recent research has shown that children raised by same-sex couples show no deficits in any of the relevant categories by which society measures the success, value, and contribution of one of its members (<a href="http://www.apa.org/pi/lgbc/policy/parents.html">http://www.apa.org/pi/lgbc/policy/parents.html</a>); in light of my opinion that, in the vast majority of cases, sexual orientation is not something that is consciously chosen; in light of my expectation that, while scientific research isn’t presently conclusive with regards to the hormonal or neuro-anatomical foundations of homosexuality, it will be in the near future; in light of my conviction that the moral and religious beliefs of one group—even if it is the majority—should not dictate the rights and freedoms of another group (so long as those rights and freedoms do not impinge upon the rights and freedoms of anybody else, and I don’t see why they need to in this case); and in light of my conviction that the historical and cultural values associated with marriage can only make spouses better people, I support the right of same-sex couples to be married.</p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="MsoNoSpacing">Many members of the church will disagree with me, and may even think that I’m displaying a lack of trust in the direction of the Prophet.<span style=""> </span>I certainly don’t see it that way.<span style=""> </span>The reasons for which the Prophet and Apostles urged Californians to vote ‘yes’ on Prop 8 have not, in my view, been articulated as having originated from a desire to exclude gays and lesbians from any sort of state-offered right or validation. <span style=""> </span>The doctrine of the church is clear on this point: we should not seek to impose our moral or religious views on other groups by legislative means.<span style=""> </span>Since this is largely what Prop 8 is about, I can only assume that the motivation to vote ‘yes’ rather originates from an effort to protect the interests of the Church.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="MsoNoSpacing">At any rate, I can envision a situation where secular society affirms the value and validity of same-sex marriages, while the rights and privileges of religious institutions are untouched—most importantly in this case, the privilege of making moral distinctions based on sexual conduct.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="MsoNoSpacing">This is why I voted “Yes” on Proposition 8.<span style=""> </span>Let me explain.<span style=""> </span>I sincerely want marriage to be extended to same-sex couples, but not like this.<span style=""> </span>There are plausible arguments that if Prop 8 hadn’t passed, a number of churches and religious institutions would have been forced to drop any distinction between a same-sex marriage and a heterosexual marriage.<span style=""> </span>There is no fear that this would, say, force churches to marry same-sex couples.<span style=""> </span>However, there is a fear that, for example, the adoption agency run by LDS Family Services would lose its state licensing and would be forced to shut down (something like this happened to a Catholic agency in Massachusetts).<span style=""> </span>Many religious schools may have lost tax-exemption.<span style=""> </span>There are other fears, but it this category of side-effects that seems most likely and most unacceptable to me.<span style=""> </span>And then there is the original <i style="">In Re Marriage Cases</i> decision.<span style=""> </span>Much of the reasoning was sound, but I tend to agree with the dissenting opinions: the court overextended its reach and engaged in judicial activism.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" class="MsoNoSpacing">I fully expect same-sex marriage to happen in the next 10 years.<span style=""> </span>It will happen.<span style=""> </span>I hope it can be done with an eye towards protecting religious freedoms.<span style=""> </span>I hope it can be done through the legislative branch, not the judicial branch.<span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span>The culture war has boiled over and become a legal battle.<span style=""> </span>These differences in moral judgment won’t go away soon, and we need to be expertly careful in how we go about securing the rights of all people to hold and express these moral judgments.<span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span>In the meantime, I hope we can all agree that this is just a sad situation, and that we should all work to understand each other a little more, and be angry with each other a little less.</p>danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-32755540117509938582008-11-05T10:48:00.011-05:002008-11-05T23:15:44.574-05:00PBS, budding patriotism, and russian spies<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SRIrSXry96I/AAAAAAAAAY0/-9Rv4Bbhe0w/s1600-h/porkbuster_logo.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 390px; height: 316px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SRIrSXry96I/AAAAAAAAAY0/-9Rv4Bbhe0w/s400/porkbuster_logo.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265318508944881570" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Because PBS (pork-barrel spending) is such a crucial issue, a few lab buddies and I have committed our time and efforts to the cause of PorkBusters -- a political action committee devoted to the eradication of earmarks and PBS. We also happen to find the imagery of the term "PORK BARREL" quite hilarious. Try whispering it into an unexpecting colleague's ear, and you'll get a glimpse of the joy that we feel on a daily basis here at the lab. We guarantee that your colleague will also find it comical, and will only respect you more.<br />We had a pork-barrel party on election night. Only pork products were consumed, and we made sure that all of the funds used to purchase the goods for the party were earmarked from our stipends and scholarships.<br /><br />While watching the election results roll in, the conversation turned to the topic of the American flag. As Canadians, they were curious about why so many Americans are anxious to display their flag. I did my best to explain the special brand of patriotism that belongs to Americans. It got me thinking.<br /><br />When Kris and I went to Europe a few years ago, I attached a Canadian flag patch to my backpack. A number of folks had suggested doing this to avoid catching any of the fabled anti-American sentiment that is so rampant in places like Paris. I don't know if it helped, but I did it -- I tried to hide the fact that I was American.<br /><br />I'll be honest. I still find politics repugnant. As I listened to McCain's beautiful concession and Obama's inspiring acceptance, I wondered why that tone couldn't have been the tone of the campaign. Why not? Are so few American's swayed by generosity, honesty, and love, and so many Americans swayed by hate, suspicion, and fear that those who would lead our country are now counseled that the most effective campaign strategy is to drag an opponent's name through the mud? Why does this work so well? Forget the promises that are impossible to keep. Forget the irritating slogans and catch-phrases. Forget the emotional fortress that candidates, of necessity, build up in order to survive the pervasive, invasive scrutiny of the press -- but which simultaneously leads to a detached (and detaching) calculus that weighs the political ramifications of every . . . single . . . word. No wonder George Bush's ability to articulate his thoughts has steadily deteriorated over the last eight years. Forget all of this. The one thing that aggravates me the most about politics is the meaninglessness of the discourse -- on both sides of the podium. It's gotten bad: I've caught myself trying to deconstruct what a candidate means when he says he is a "straight-shooter." Call me old-fashioned; I just don't think semantic flexibility is a skill we should seek in the person who makes some of the most important promises on earth. I don't put all of the blame on the politicians themselves. After all, it works. Maybe that's what frustrates me most.<br /><br />Now I'll be even more honest. Living outside of the US for this past year has given me time enough to reflect upon the past eight years, and to do it from a pseudo-outsider's perspective. There have been times when pictures of that American flag conjured up feelings of embarrasment, doubt, and cynicism. I'm not the type to demonize George Bush and his staff, but some heart-breaking mistakes were made. Who is America? Do we break international agreements and torture our prisoners? Do we fight (bravely) in a war that was started under false pretenses? Are we reviving imperialism? Are we going to define ourselves through a war on a group of terrorists? Do we really care about the poor in our country? Do we try our best to give immigrants the same freedoms we all enjoy? Do we care about this beautiful earth and the animals that share it with us? Do we do our best to both understand and teach our children about that beautiful earth, the history of mankind's works upon it, and the cultural skills and arts that help us see aspects of that beauty and history that are difficult for us to see? Do we care about the world outside of our borders? Are we really so vain and greedy that we're willing to live a lifestyle that we can't possibly afford? Is this America?<br /><br />I suspect there are many good and honest people that haven't had this dilemma. But there are enough good and honest people -- Americans and non-Americans -- that have had this dilemma, so much so that an immense pressure has been building up, and we just heard a deafening cathartic sigh last night. I've been honest about my distaste for politics and the bleakness of my recent views of the US. I don't know if I'll ever enjoy listening to a politician tell me why I should make him my leader, but I do know that the American flag has taken on a new significance for me over the past few weeks. Last night I watched the American people solidify a sense of America's identity that has been fuzzy for some time now. I'm glad Obama won. He'll do a great job. But the reason that the American flag makes me warm inside isn't because of Obama. It's because of the Americans who gathered in the streets, lined up at the booths, and put a black man at the head of a country whose history needed this. I love my country.<br /><br />I'm gonna go out and buy an American flag as soon as I can find one here in Canada.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SRIs7Zk4f1I/AAAAAAAAAY8/yi2llEuJ7qg/s1600-h/0000018f.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 362px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SRIs7Zk4f1I/AAAAAAAAAY8/yi2llEuJ7qg/s400/0000018f.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265320313339019090" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />* Side note 1: My sincerest apologies if you started singing Neil Diamond while reading this.<br /><br />* Side note 2: Ever since I've started getting more vocal about my love for the states, I've been getting more and more emails from a Russian dating agency telling me that there are lots of Russian women who want to date me. Most of them are named TatianaG, apparently. I have little doubt that these women are, in fact, spies. One hundred points to Russia for creativity. MEMO TO OBAMA: If you're anxious to protect America, forget about Al Qaeda. Focus instead on the TatianaG cell.<br />* Addendum to side note 2: I must make it clear that these emails are unsolicited spam. I have the best wife in the world, and I hate borscht. And I hated Ivan Drago in Rocky IV. And Putin sounds like a euphemism for passing gas. And Sputnik is a stupid name for a satellite. All points awarded to Russia are hereby rescinded. Sorry for any confusion.danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-1148955522027192942008-11-04T13:17:00.004-05:002008-11-04T13:24:34.353-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SRCS8HXw88I/AAAAAAAAAYk/lgiqkJRmnC8/s1600-h/voted.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 261px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SRCS8HXw88I/AAAAAAAAAYk/lgiqkJRmnC8/s400/voted.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5264869525864641474" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;">Today is one for the history books. Don't just watch.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /></div>danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-47003882974937846812008-10-24T10:49:00.003-04:002008-10-24T10:58:19.235-04:00Yes, but is it just like a mini-mall?"Don't stop. Let's make this . . . a dance!"<br /><br />Commence transmission of horrible, internet-borne brain-worm. Now uploading to host . . .<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/FJ3oHpup-pk&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/FJ3oHpup-pk&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-85105428527905557242008-10-16T20:59:00.004-04:002008-10-16T21:12:32.623-04:00I'm a hallucinating wimp.Here's an excerpt from yesterday's journal entry:<br /><br />I have a terrible headache right now and it’s all because of an fMRI scanning session this evening. It was supposed to last an hour and a half, but I was in there for close to two and a half hours. I’m not the best fMRI subject, I’ve decided. My butt invariably goes numb, I get this pathological swallowing reflex going (it feels like I’m going to choke if I don’t swallow—the same thing always happens at the dentist), the small of my back starts to throb, and I get a migraine. So, naturally, my mind is a bit preoccupied while I’m trying to maintain my attention on the task at hand. Also, something new happened tonight. When we were closing in on the two-hour mark, my headache started morphing into a freaky kinesthetic illusion. Every time I closed my eyes it felt like my head was being shoved down and toward my right shoulder, and the rest of my body felt like it was being bent sideways at my waist. The sensation went away somewhat when I opened my eyes and saw that my body was perfectly straight, but there were times when I would be looking at my body—knowing that I was looking at a perfectly straight body—and yet my body still felt like it was bending in half, and that an immense pressure was pushing on my head. This is the condition I’m in when the experimenter tells me that the scanner is giving him a warning message, and that I’ll have to wait in the scanner—without moving—while he talks to a technician on the phone. I’ve already been in the scanner for about two hours.<br />“Want to listen to some music?” he asks me. <br />“Got any Ryan Adams?”<br />“Sure,” he says. Ten seconds later, the Bryan Adams song “Summer of 69” comes blaring through the headphones. I try to be still while I laugh—I thought it was a joke. It repeats 5 or 6 times before it is stopped, an apology is given, forgiveness is extended, and an actual Ryan Adams song (“Oh My Sweet Carolina”) starts playing. I must be in a pretty delicate emotional state because the song is so beautiful that it puts me on the verge of tears. <br />The wages for this existential roller-coaster: $50danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-42461852958873101452008-10-05T23:04:00.003-04:002008-10-06T09:23:07.958-04:00Genetic engineering projectsBefore I forget, I'm making a list of all the genetic engineering projects I want to complete. I'm a bit busy lately, so these are on the back burner for the time being.<br /><br />* Monkeys that naturally grow mullets.<br /><br />* A skunk that sprays Febreeze out of its . . . you know. These would sell like hotcakes at Bed, Bath, and Beyond.<br /><br />* A blowfish that could be trained to blow up your air-mattress, car tires, or party balloons without popping them. (This one was Kristen's idea.)<br /><br />* Peacocks that display custom-designed images when their tail-feathers fan out. For example: "Kristen, will you marry me?" Or maybe a portrait of your favorite Backstreet Boy.<br /><br />* A huge praying mantis the size of a woolly mammoth. Just to humble the human race. Plus, it would put world events into a nice perspective. We'd be like, "Terrorists? Economic woes? Who cares? I've got this huge insect the size of a bus that stalks me in my back yard." <br /><br />* Remote controlled cheetahs! <br /><br />* A breed of gorilla that innately knows how to give a great massage. <br /><br />* A spitting cobra that sprays Visine (instead of poison) into your eyes.<br /><br />* Mosquitoes that eat only sugar and honey, and then instinctively fly into your mouth. Like flying candy.<br /><br />* Miniature elephants. Less shedding than dogs, and if your shower head breaks, you're covered.<br /><br />* A hybrid animal that has the strength of a bear, ears of a wolf, eyes of a hawk, and speed of a puma. Hold it . . . nevermind. That's Bravestarr.<br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/FD3lmhru3Ik&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/FD3lmhru3Ik&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />Please share any ideas you have. I'll give you credit (and a small percentage of the sales) if I use it.danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-27104699495737090302008-10-02T16:36:00.005-04:002008-10-02T17:05:41.264-04:00Do not callI'm working from home today, and I've already received 3 phone calls from telemarketers. I'm tempted to put my name on Canada's new <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canadian_Do_Not_Call_List">Do Not Call List</a>.<br /><br />I have a dream of staging an elaborate drama the next time a telemarketer calls. Something like the following:<br /><br />Them: "Hello, is Mr. Daniel Wood there?"<br />Me: "Mr. Wood is here, but do you really want to speak with him?"<br />T: "Yes, if that's okay."<br />M: "Alright, but I think this is a bad idea." <br />T: "Uhh, what . . ."<br />M: "Mr. Wood! The phone's for you! (under my breath) This is gonna get ugly."<br />(This is where I stomp my feet, bang around, and make other angry noises.)<br />M: "Uh oh."<br />Mr. Wood (it's really me pretending to be Mr. Wood): "Come here you little . . ."<br />(I fumble with the phone while pretending to run.)<br />Me: "Let me go!"<br />(More scuffle noises.)<br />Me: "The pho . . . (grunt) . . . It's the phone! Just calm down. The phone's for you!"<br />(The sound of a drawer opening and rattling metal.)<br />Me: "Sweet meats he's got a knife."<br />(More running. The door opening and slamming. Heavy breathing for a few seconds.)<br />Me: "You still there?"<br />Them: "Yeah, are you okay?"<br />Me: "I don't think you should call back here ever again."<br /><br />Kristen just read this and said it wasn't funny. :(<br /><br />She's probably right, but I'm posting it anyways. I think it's a good use of "sweet meats" -- my new favorite exclamation.danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-82911295713758294132008-09-26T13:42:00.001-04:002008-09-26T13:56:19.136-04:00A helpful figure I made while eating breakfast<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SN0iKc1g8UI/AAAAAAAAAYM/mY2bdS7PsWQ/s1600-h/untitled.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SN0iKc1g8UI/AAAAAAAAAYM/mY2bdS7PsWQ/s400/untitled.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5250390303518552386" border="0" /></a>danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-77248770250516901522008-09-18T21:55:00.003-04:002008-09-18T22:02:49.163-04:00Move over Cordon-Bleu! I mean Corbin Bleu!Oh, don't mess with Predator's baby. He'll make you look like a fool with a behind-the-back pass. Or he'll shoot a hole through you with his triangle laser beam. One of the two. Game on! <br /><br /><div style='background-color:#e9e9e9; width: 425px;'><object id='A21420' quality='high' data='http://aka.zero.jibjab.com/client/zero/ClientZero_EmbedViewer.swf?external_make_id=Av0xxUhSxBa6UmzH&service=sendables.jibjab.com' pluginspage='http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' wmode='transparent' height='319' width='425'><param name='wmode' value='transparent'></param><param name='movie' value='http://aka.zero.jibjab.com/client/zero/ClientZero_EmbedViewer.swf?external_make_id=Av0xxUhSxBa6UmzH&service=sendables.jibjab.com'></param><param name='scaleMode' value='showAll'></param><param name='quality' value='high'></param><param name='allowNetworking' value='all'></param><param name='allowFullScreen' value='true' /><param name='FlashVars' value='external_make_id=Av0xxUhSxBa6UmzH&service=sendables.jibjab.com'></param><param name='allowScriptAccess' value='always'></param></object><div style='text-align:center; width:435px; margin-top:6px;'>Try JibJab Sendables® <a href='http://sendables.jibjab.com/sendables'>eCards</a> today!</div></div><img style="visibility:hidden;width:0px;height:0px;" border=0 width=0 height=0 src="http://counters.gigya.com/wildfire/IMP/CXNID=2000002.9NXC/bT*xJmx*PTEyMjE3ODkzMDcyODEmcHQ9MTIyMTc4OTMyNjUzMSZwPTE5MTEzMSZkPTIwMjMwNyZuPSZnPTImdD*mbz1hNDNhNjVjMjRhYzI*M2QzYWU5ZGRjMGNjNGM5YjlkZA==.gif" />danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-70391011310992437482008-09-10T22:07:00.003-04:002008-09-10T22:14:39.201-04:00Obey the pug.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SMh-P8AyUDI/AAAAAAAAAXw/i1rzGBXwsNM/s1600-h/big_brother_pug_dog.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SMh-P8AyUDI/AAAAAAAAAXw/i1rzGBXwsNM/s400/big_brother_pug_dog.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5244580578345504818" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />For more awesome dog propaganda, click <a href="http://www.obeythepurebreed.com/">here</a>.danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-41346115580084129542008-09-10T15:07:00.011-04:002008-09-10T16:33:50.078-04:00Just a test.So.<br />About a year and a half ago, I initiated the infamous <a href="http://danielkentwood.blogspot.com/2007/04/bulldog-or-bust.html">Bulldog or Bust campaign</a>. To bolster support and rally the troops, I included some pictures of bulldogs that I had found on the internet. There was one photo in particular, FinneganFrenchBulldog.jpg, that magically shot to the top of the google image search rankings for the search term 'french bulldog'. This brought in between 300 and 500 hits a day.<br />Recently, I noticed a significant dip in the traffic to my site. So I went to google and searched 'french bulldog'. There was the photo, FinneganFrenchBulldog.jpg, but somebody else's blog was next to it. To get a glimpse of what this felt like for me, I ask you to imagine your only child becoming famous, and then when he does, that ungrateful child who received a constant shower of love and care and personal sacrifice from you, that unfaithful ingrate who you taught and groomed for greatness -- imagine that this child proclaims on the bright morning of his fame that he is the son of someone else. That is the dagger I felt in my heart today.<br /><br />I'm performing a little experiment. I'm taking the top four photos from the google image results for 'french bulldog', and I'm posting them here. I'm gonna get my child back. Bring it.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SMgorcr_4UI/AAAAAAAAAXQ/Jk7pvZYc8WM/s1600-h/french-bulldog4.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SMgorcr_4UI/AAAAAAAAAXQ/Jk7pvZYc8WM/s400/french-bulldog4.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5244486492973162818" border="0" /></a><br /><br />This one also happens to be #1 on the 'french bulldog puppy' google image search results. More bang for my buck.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SMgo6yrKICI/AAAAAAAAAXY/YBtd2D8AGzg/s1600-h/FrenchBulldog1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SMgo6yrKICI/AAAAAAAAAXY/YBtd2D8AGzg/s400/FrenchBulldog1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5244486756573257762" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SMgpwfSI7QI/AAAAAAAAAXo/DprpJ0NIPXg/s1600-h/frenchbulldog2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SMgpwfSI7QI/AAAAAAAAAXo/DprpJ0NIPXg/s400/frenchbulldog2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5244487679080983810" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SMgpZRjMvTI/AAAAAAAAAXg/cbOl7QQwCVc/s1600-h/FinneganFrenchBulldog.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_uaYwgt90YUA/SMgpZRjMvTI/AAAAAAAAAXg/cbOl7QQwCVc/s400/FinneganFrenchBulldog.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5244487280257449266" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />And here's the infamous Finnegan. Come back to me, Finny. The doggy door is always open.<br /><br />Note: the original FinneganFrenchBulldog image comes from the owner of a <a href="http://www.andreaharner.com/archives/2004/11/finnegan_the_fly_french_bulldog.html">political blog</a>. I guess I forgot to mention that Finnegan was adopted. But I'm the one who got him to the top. I'm nobody's stepping stone.danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-18355126046072748882008-07-31T10:48:00.003-04:002008-07-31T10:49:43.115-04:00the McGurk effectDid you enjoy the "Ricola" video? Check out my other blog for a scientific description of it.<br /><br />Link to <a href="http://brainandsky.blogspot.com/2008/07/mcgurk-effect.html">Brain and Sky</a>.danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-91600760716412571652008-07-23T13:20:00.003-04:002008-07-23T13:44:45.263-04:00Ricola!While Kristen and I were in Paris, we ate a lot of food at the Latin Quarter (I think that's what they called it, at least). The food was cheap (for Paris) and there was always something interesting to see. One night I was wandering around and I saw this guy with 10 or so cigarettes (all lit) in his mouth. In one gulp, he swallowed them all. People started gathering, and I started filming. He has a speech impediment that makes his words hard to understand, so I took the liberty of putting subtitles on the footage. Enjoy! <br /><br /> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dy98gDwsEL1VGX3ibSyLbJBGljgCkkrkyTF2M4xtbftIzD06TeZ6InWDm6tdamUJXg_Mb2M2eev' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe>danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26430717.post-85829843099215304272008-07-18T08:16:00.007-04:002008-07-18T08:44:09.410-04:00Sub-broad-wayThere is a fine line between mocking someone and rejoicing in their unrepentant weirdness. I'd like to think I'm involved in the latter. The latent journalist in me has been begging me to publish this ever since I took the video in a Paris subway platform. Now you, too, can rejoice with me. <br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dxYMOFPqV5tMyBEDexXcK2i-DdTu54RRv0e3szIz9YV2lXGR4Y5TBHixXaUJ-GpcIbgt7-bCyt6HXU' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br />If you pay attention, I put a few euros in his bucket at the beginning. I feel like that buys me the rights to this video.danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06793750767455283307noreply@blogger.com5