30 April 2006

Demon Dog has a heart

This is Demon Dog.

The other day I got out of my car and noticed that the neighbor's pit bull was staring at me. I've always had this thing with animals and babies -- I always try to get into a staring contest with them. At the supermarket, it's amazing how many babies I can get to smile at me just by maintaining eye contact with them. Sometimes the moms give me dirty looks, but most of them smile, just being happy that someone is noticing their offspring.

Back to the dog. So this dog and I get into a staredown to end all man-beast staredowns. I thought he had me for a second when I felt a smile trying to crack through my mask of pure intimidation, but he barked first. And just to punctuate my victory, I did my little intimidation move (a kind of jerky forward thrust of the shoulders).

It was then that I noticed that my wife Kristy had been watching the entire exchange from the balcony.

We've been calling him "Demon Dog" since he is a pit bull and he spends most of his time thrashing a doll that resembles a very lifelike toddler. Disturbing. However, I've been watching our demonic canine friend from the balcony while I study and I've recently discovered that he's not demonic at all. He's rather quite the child. He derives such intense pleasure from thrashing the entire backyard that I can't help but smile myself as I watch his innocent masterpiece of mayhem unfold. No, he's no spawn of beelzebub. He's just really good at what he does. Everyone, meet Demon Dog.


Bodah J said...

I actually know the real Demon dog. His name is Gunner and he's a German Shepherd in Calvert County, Maryland.

Kris said...

no you're wrong, this demon dog doesn't have a heart, he was tearing up a baby doll just yesterday. And enjoying it. And then chewed on his owner's masterpiece of a shed, then danced to the spanish version of the YMCA song. I think THAT is heartless, but then again what do I know, I killed a bird on the way to work yesterday. But all birds go to heaven right?!

Mike Turner said...

We must remember that true demon dogs are few and far between.The nobel canine is usually influenced away from his true nature of mayhem and cat dominance by the love and forebarance of his servant the owner.
This beast however does appear to have gained dominance over one of man's other true nemises,that mechecanical thief of sunny saturdays and enslaver of millions of middle aged men and teenaged boys world wide the evil LAWN MOWER. you will notice it sits mute and subdued in the top left corner,while the dog exerts it's urinary influence over the lawn.
By the by love the irreverance, hope you don't mind me dropping by once in awhile to spend my two cents.