22 April 2006


Avoidance behavior.

This blog is becoming quite useful in its facilitation of avoidance-behaviors. I'm very pleased.

I may or may not be engaging in avoidance behavior at this very moment. Has anyone else had the experience of situational narcolepsy? There are certain activities that, no matter how interested I think I am, always throw me into an epic struggle to stay awake. What an unfortunate conjunction of circumstances when such an activity is absolutely necessary at 3:00 a.m.
It's not that reading my chemistry book just makes me a bit drowsy. No, it mechanically shuts my body down. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I only read my chemistry book in the middle of the night before a test.
But my body has other similar behaviors that couldn't be explained by mere association. Take, for example, the fascinating reaction that my body has developed in the context of bookstores and libraries. Whenever I visit a bookstore, without fail, I have to visit the restroom. It's rather embarrassing, now that I mention it.
So, we've got situational narcolepsy and situational digestion, both mechanically induced by activities that seem removed from sleeping and digestion, respectively. I don't have the time to elaborate, but I think this proves that the big bang theory is wrong.
Well, I'm fully re-invigorated. Back to the chemistry books!


Pictoris ab Lumen said...

Dear Maieutica,
I really like your new site. Well done! I do have a comment about your situational digestion and it's relationship to the Big Bang Theory. In 1998 Saul Perlmutter and a team of astrophysicists at the Lawrence Berkeley International Laboratories, made a remarkable discovery...that the universe is expanding at an ever-increasing rate. Since your stomach is part of that universe, this becomes significant. Gravitational law reminds us that both the bookstore and your stomach have a gravitational effect on each other. Due to the larger mass found within the Bookstore, relative to your stomach, its influence on your stomach would be greater. Since you were most likely arriving from an area of lesser mass, such as the street, or quad, the sudden impact of coming in contact with the bookstore and its increased mass, and gravitational pull, most likely had a deleterious impact on your digestive system. String theory also sheds some light on your digestive quandary. Since all mass is defined by the unique frequency of it's elemental resonating strings, it seems that you may be the unsuspecting victim of a digestive system whose resonance is identical to that of bookstores and libraries. As you can see, this proves fairly conclusively that the Big Bang theory has merit.

Pictoris ab lumen

Cantus auctum victus said...

Avoidance behavior, eh? This is creative procrastination at its best, son.

Cantus auctum victus said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kyles said...

I just want to say that your wife is not only beautiful but just might happen to be the most amazing women I know...Oh, and I like you too and your blog

Kris said...

isn't it amazing how easy it is to bake, or clean or read when there are things to do? Or theses' to write? Thankfully its only one thesis!
Hey, what rhymes with thesis? I want to write a poem about it.

PS anyone who reads this, Dan ROCKED the chemistry final! Mais certainement!

Mike Turner said...

I lay on fleese's with my niece's and ate Reese's pieces while awaiting the release's of the many poor meese's* that had helped with his thesis.

*meese's from the great cat philosipher Tom Cat of TOM and Jerry fame.Who regularly said "I hate meese's to pieces"